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What to do before Doomsday 2012
On » Sunday, November 7, 2010 //
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How many times have u seen a guy getting 175 in 140 balls and still ending up on the losing side! God! Yesterday was an awful day for me! I wanted to bang the T.V., but i didnt! So i switched the channel... just to see a pretty young news anchor wasting her talent in asking stupid questions to a panel of 'experts' called in to 'educate' the masses of the much hyped 'Doomsday' in 2012!!! It was much more disgusting than India's loss to see the Breaking news ticker displaying, "2012 mein dharti ka vinaash atal" (In 2012. the end of the world is imminent!)
I switched off the idiot box and slipped into my bed. But Sachin's failed heroics had snatched off my sleep too! So i kept pondering about the Doomsday! What if it really would happen! We would have only 1141 days left! So i wondered what things should happen or can happen before the earth gets sucked in, or collides with a meteor or whichever way its supposed to end! Let me tell you...
1. Everyone should start booking their tickets to Baker and Howard Islands, these places in the Pacific are going to witness the sunrise of 21st Dec 2012 the last! They are 12 hrs behind the GMT! So you will be the last one to die! Great achievement that will be...
2. Okay did you always wished to swear or kick your Boss's a**? Now dont hesitate, do it! You may get fired from your job, but dont worry, it would be not long before the whole office gets fired from this universe!
3. I ask why save money and pile it up in those bank lockers. Your plans for future have no meaning now, its already 'planned' by Nostradamus! Withdraw every single penny, break the FDs. Take your spouse to the most hi-fi places around the world. Now no worries about your bank balance!
4. Kids wont need to go to school. Why just scrap the 10th Std Board Exams? Mr. Sibbal are you listening? Scrap every Single exam. Let them have fun...
5. Government of India should not waste time and money in building a spacecraft for Mars in 2019!!! That would never come. Instead direct all the funds towards building a huge countdown timer...
Now did someone just asked me 'Where'? Okay, right in the middle of the sea, against the Marine drive backdrop, taller than Mount Everest (forget Statue of Liberty!) No one will protest now!
6. Supreme court should not unnecessarily give out stay orders to the U.P. government for building statues. 'Aakhri Iccha' puri kee jaaye!' And we educated citizens promise, we wont make a fuss about it now! Now who cares!
7. This time we have a stable government at the centre. So i feel sad for them who didnt vote this time. The next elections wont happen ever. You missed that right of yours! Also everyone should ask Manmohan Singh to step down and give us a chance atleast now to see India being led by a young man as in Rahul Baba.
8. One happy news is that the Cricket world Cup is in 2011. So critics leave Sachin alone and let him play till 2012. In fact call everyone Dada, Jumbo, Dravid, Kapil, let us give everyone a final 'chance'.
9. Orkut, you have very less time to prove that you are atleast somewhere in competition to facebook and Twitter! Get your a**es fired and show us some real stuff!
10. Okay so in short, each one of us has very less time in our hands. Since its already the end of 2009... so do whatever you wanted to do or dreamt of doing the whole life but couldnt! Whatever! Wanted to propose someone? Propose! Wanted to Kick someone? Kick! Wanted to kill someone? Go ahead, you will spend only few years in jail. Better so... do it on the last day... no punishment at all!
Ah! But Alas the world is not ending... they said so back in 2000 too... We are not stupid enough to accept that the universe will get screwed just bcoz a calendar has no dates after 21st December 2012! Had it been true, I would have cared sh*t to write a disclaimer. But it isn't, so let me be safe.
Disclaimer: The ideas above are fictional, no intentions to hurt anyone's sentiments, political or unpolitical!
But still do you have some weird ideas about what things to do if the doomsday was for real, let me know in the comments section.
Dont worry... We will be there even post 2012... me writing silly posts like the one above and you stupidly reading it till the end...
adios
.
I switched off the idiot box and slipped into my bed. But Sachin's failed heroics had snatched off my sleep too! So i kept pondering about the Doomsday! What if it really would happen! We would have only 1141 days left! So i wondered what things should happen or can happen before the earth gets sucked in, or collides with a meteor or whichever way its supposed to end! Let me tell you...
1. Everyone should start booking their tickets to Baker and Howard Islands, these places in the Pacific are going to witness the sunrise of 21st Dec 2012 the last! They are 12 hrs behind the GMT! So you will be the last one to die! Great achievement that will be...
2. Okay did you always wished to swear or kick your Boss's a**? Now dont hesitate, do it! You may get fired from your job, but dont worry, it would be not long before the whole office gets fired from this universe!
3. I ask why save money and pile it up in those bank lockers. Your plans for future have no meaning now, its already 'planned' by Nostradamus! Withdraw every single penny, break the FDs. Take your spouse to the most hi-fi places around the world. Now no worries about your bank balance!
4. Kids wont need to go to school. Why just scrap the 10th Std Board Exams? Mr. Sibbal are you listening? Scrap every Single exam. Let them have fun...
5. Government of India should not waste time and money in building a spacecraft for Mars in 2019!!! That would never come. Instead direct all the funds towards building a huge countdown timer...
Now did someone just asked me 'Where'? Okay, right in the middle of the sea, against the Marine drive backdrop, taller than Mount Everest (forget Statue of Liberty!) No one will protest now!
6. Supreme court should not unnecessarily give out stay orders to the U.P. government for building statues. 'Aakhri Iccha' puri kee jaaye!' And we educated citizens promise, we wont make a fuss about it now! Now who cares!
7. This time we have a stable government at the centre. So i feel sad for them who didnt vote this time. The next elections wont happen ever. You missed that right of yours! Also everyone should ask Manmohan Singh to step down and give us a chance atleast now to see India being led by a young man as in Rahul Baba.
8. One happy news is that the Cricket world Cup is in 2011. So critics leave Sachin alone and let him play till 2012. In fact call everyone Dada, Jumbo, Dravid, Kapil, let us give everyone a final 'chance'.
9. Orkut, you have very less time to prove that you are atleast somewhere in competition to facebook and Twitter! Get your a**es fired and show us some real stuff!
10. Okay so in short, each one of us has very less time in our hands. Since its already the end of 2009... so do whatever you wanted to do or dreamt of doing the whole life but couldnt! Whatever! Wanted to propose someone? Propose! Wanted to Kick someone? Kick! Wanted to kill someone? Go ahead, you will spend only few years in jail. Better so... do it on the last day... no punishment at all!
Ah! But Alas the world is not ending... they said so back in 2000 too... We are not stupid enough to accept that the universe will get screwed just bcoz a calendar has no dates after 21st December 2012! Had it been true, I would have cared sh*t to write a disclaimer. But it isn't, so let me be safe.
Disclaimer: The ideas above are fictional, no intentions to hurt anyone's sentiments, political or unpolitical!
But still do you have some weird ideas about what things to do if the doomsday was for real, let me know in the comments section.
Dont worry... We will be there even post 2012... me writing silly posts like the one above and you stupidly reading it till the end...
adios
.
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